Walking Blindfolded

I'm so very thankful for the encouragement of the Word of God and for dear brothers and sisters in the faith. This past month has been one of wavering for me. I've lacked faith in God.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go;
I will counsel you with My eye upon you.
Do not be as the horse or mule which have no understanding,
whose trappings include bit and bridle to hold them in check,
otherwise they will not come near to you.
Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
But he who trusts in the Lord, lovingkindness shall surround him.
Psalm 32:8-10

I've allowed worldly thinking to cloud my eyes and I've seen things with eyes of flesh instead of eyes of faith. I failed to remember that although I don't know what the plan is, God does. I've forgotten that though we seek to rebell, as Jonah did, God will never fail to execute His purposes, bringing us into conformity through pain if need be. And as I've lain awake in bed at night with my heart aching as I listen to my baby "cry it out", I've wondered if it hurts God as much to train us as much as it hurts us to be trained. All of this is to say that God is good, He is in His heaven and does as He pleases. Pastor Jay's sermon this morning pointed out that sharing in the suffering of Christ is not always martyrdom or something big like that, but rather the daily grind of slaying the flesh, repenting of sin, and becoming like Christ. We ought to grieve over the sins that nailed him to the tree, and the reminder of what our sin cost ought to motivate us to flee from it. So often I'm looking for something big to do for God and I neglect the very things He has already given me to do.

Seeing these things has given me more peace about the future than I have had in awhile. This is a blessed relief because although we are packing and preparing to leave the country for 2 years in a little less than 2 weeks, we still don't have our visas. Our student loan was finally approved and we are grateful to God for His providence in working that out. As of last Friday, things were looking pretty hopeless and we didn't know what we were going to do. But no matter what, I know that God is going to take care of us. How much I need to think on that! Worldly wisdom screams "You don't know what you're doing! You better be worried!" But Lady Wisdom of Proverbs says "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."

I got Iain's visa picture taken today. He is able to hold his head up now, which made it a lot easier to get than his passport photo. The little sweetie decided that he wanted to smile for the camera!

Our yard sale went very well. Many friends and family came to help us. We made about $500, which will be a great help to us and we got rid of a lot things. Today at church they had a surprise goodbye luncheon for us, which was so very bittersweet. It is hard to leave. I thank God that we are still all members of one body, and no matter whether or not I see any of them again in this life, we will meet again singing praises before the throne of the Holy One.