Monday, April 06, 2009

I'm throwing the good girl off the bus.

God is teaching me a new thing-- and it is actually just the gospel. It stings a bit to see that I too am still needing spiritual milk, but that is of little consequence.

Doni's recent blog post on self-sacrifice really gave me a lot to chew on. She basically posits that God isn't always calling us to sacrifice because Jesus has already sacrificed for us, and that any sacrifice we do make ultimately should not be about us, but about him. She points out that often when we make a sacrifice we are doing it to earn God's favor and to prove to ourselves that we are better than others. I know that is true of me.

Anybody have any thoughts about this? How do we balance God's gracious fatherly love towards us with running a good race, or worshipping God by making our lives into living sacrifices? How can faithfully worship and serve God (out of adoration and not just sucking up!) ? How can we live for eternity and for others in an honest and non-works based way?

I'm longing for freedom in Christ. Freedom from guilt. Freedom to serve in a meaningful way that is not all about me. Freedom to worship in a way that isn't all about me. Freedom from self. Freedom from works and self-righteousness. Lord please remove the wicked selfish desires of my heart. Take away the longing to worshiped, adored, and approved of. Take away the desire to be good in order to be loved. Take away the fear of man. Please replace these desires with the desire to worship and adore you. Replace it with the desire to approve of what you approve of. Grant me the desire to love you so much that I want to be like you. Give me a fear of you. Set me free Lord Jesus. Help me believe in the sufficency of your death. Help me believe that I am dead to sin and alive in Christ, no longer bound by the law. Make me a perfect piece of your creation, fulfilling my purpose and bringing glory to you by joyfully doing what you created me to do in full contentment and peace in you. Help me to fear nothing and to jump unabashedly through the air into your arms, knowing that they will catch me. I believe I am yours. I believe that you love me. Help me walk daily in the confidence that I am your precious daughter, bough with the highest possible price, and that no one could ever approve of me or love me more than that. Amen.