How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news.

Brian preached on Joseph and Judah in church this morning-- what a beautiful message of love and redemption for the losers who just can't get it together, no matter how hard they try. (You can listen to it here if you like.) How often I put myself in that category-- and wear it as a badge of shame. But that's not right-- it is my only glory. As Paul says in Phillipians 3:

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith."

O Lord help me to stop trusting in myself-- Help me to accept myself as flawed and broken and to see any good thing that does happen as a testimony to Your grace and glory, and not the beginnings of some broken runged ladder that I can try to use to climb to You.

But I still struggle with how sanctification fits in-- how does one strive to be like Christ without relying on that performance to please God? Reading in 2 Corinthians 12, I wonder if thorn in my flesh can be my yet uneradicated sinfulness? Maybe God doesn't take it away to remind me of how much I need him? Can that apply to this verse? I've certainly never thought about it that way before. Here is the passage I'm thinking of:

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

So here's to walking or limping rather, in weakness, and praying that the Lord would accomplish all His purposes to His glory.

Baby Bean

This photo is quite old by now. It is our 7 week ultrasound. You can't see much in it at all, but we were so happy to see even this little bit as our little one seems to be developing well so far, praise God. Yesterday we went to the doctor for my 11 week appointment and got to hear baby's heartbeat for the first time. Thank you Lord!

This whole pregnancy stills seems very unreal. Last time we had to work and pray and strive so hard just to get pregnant-- it seems impossible that it could just happen. I almost feel because I did nothing to make it happen. I guess that just shows what a hard time I still have accepting God's love and graciousness.

I've had lots of pregnancy symptoms so far: nausea, dizziness, shakiness, acute sense of smell, fatigue, mood swings, strange food cravings. Now they seem to be settling down a bit in preparation for the second trimester. I'm thrilled to be getting off early. I'm beginning to pick up parts of my usual work again-- even cooking lunch today and a cake last night. Nothing like being under the weather to make you appreciate feeling good and going about your routine again.

And we're baaaaaaaaack.

It has been a very long time since I've written on my blog. On one hand, I really don't like that because it means there is a gap in our little collection of family memories, but on the other hand, I don't mind so much, because sometimes you don't have much to say, or life intervenes with more pressing cares than journaling.

But a lot has happened since I last wrote here-- we're slowly settling into our new house, we've planted a vegetable garden and have 3 chickens, my mom and sister came for a visit, we traded our enormous 4 poster bed for an old Jeep, we went to San Francisco.

And we got the biggest and best surprise of our lives. God has opened my womb and we are expecting a new baby in early February. This news is so amazing that we still ask ourselves if it can possibly be true.

I really feel that this baby is a miracle, given all the damage inside my body. This child is such a special gift from the Lord. I wonder what purpose he has for this new person? I'm so excited for Iain to have a little brother or sister. He doesn't know yet, but has lately been praying for "a new buddy for our family." He came up with this idea all on his own, and the timing is good!

So we are rejoicing here. I've been so thankful for summer break as Brian has been home to take care of Iain and household chores while I've been sick. Morning sickness started at about 4 weeks with this baby and I've been pretty tired too. I'm looking forward to being finished with the first trimester and going about my regular routine again.