Thursday, December 02, 2004

Went to the doctor to today....

...Ugh. I hate going to my OB/GYN sooo much. The whole business is humiliating and makes me feel incredibly vulnerable. I went because I have been having pain again.... sure enough, the endometriosis is back. As my doctor put it, "some people's biology is just wacky." Now there's a day-brightener for you.

If you are curious about what endometriosis is, there is information to be found on these pages:

So the plan is containment of the growths and pain management. He gave me a couple of prescriptions for that. I have to be watched carefully, to be sure it doesn't get out of hand, so I'm going for a sonogram next Friday. Eventually, I'm going to need a hysterectomy, but we're trying to stave that off as long as possible.

I wish people would stop telling me that I'm going to get pregnant. I really, really, really wish I could, but it would literally take a miracle. And yes, God can do all things, but that doesn't mean He will. It so discouraging to go month after month being diappointed that I'm not pregnant. I don't want to think that way anymore, because it just breeds discontent in my heart. I don't know how to tell people that. I would be very blessed if God opened my womb, but I don't want to look for that and cling to that hope. There are some things in life that He just wants you to go through.

Well enough of this kind of thinking and talk.

No comments: