Praying

I'm such a strange jumble of emotions these days: worry, impatience, anxiety, excitement, weariness, anticipation... I guess that's normal, huh? I know Brian and I will be so glad and thankful when the baby is born. I'm taking my very last injection tonight-- yay! I've been doing them twice a day for more than 10 months, and I'm so thankful to be done. I'm even more thankful that they worked. What a blessing that the doctors identified that problem and were able to solve it. God is so merciful. With the c-section looming, I'm concerned and excited. I appreciate your prayers so much. I've really struggled with worry throughout this pregnancy-- I've been haunted by a fear that I'll never meet my baby. And worry is something I'm prone to even when I'm not under this much stress. It is a besetting sin of mine-- one that I've had trouble admitting really is a sin. I guess that's how it it is with some of the sins we are most attached to-- we can't see it. So I'm praying that now, on the eve of surgery and my child's birth, with perhaps some legitimate cause for concern, that God will help me let go of that and trust Him.

Dear Father God,
You know all my thoughts and ways. You know how things race through my head and I get worried. Please help me to trust You and to remember how much You love me. Thank you for the beautiful gift of life that you have given to my son. Thank you for bringing him to us in such an amazing way. You really did remember him out of all the thousands of children in freezers neglected and forgotten by most of the world. You chose him to be ours and I am so thankful. What a gracious gift. Thank you for protecting him all during this pregnancy despite the bleeding scares, potential clotting problems, and the excessive fluid. Please help me to be a good mother and to teach him Your ways. Please call him to Yourself and make him Your own. Help me not to desire what will make him happy, but rather what will make him holy. Thank you for my dear husband, the best gift You have given me on this earth. Continue Your purifying work in his life. Make him daily more like Yourself, and give him wisdom to govern our family. Thank you so much dear Father for Your tender mercies to us, over and over again. Thank you for the support of the body of Christ and the Word. I know that You do all things well, and I pray that I will always be submissive to Your will and that my heart would be tender to Your correction. I love you Father God and I praise Your wisdom, holiness, and love. It is such a comfort that you are master over all things. In Jesus' name, amen.