Storm Tossed and Not Comforted

Well, my doctor's appointment today was a disappointment. I was hoping for a solution. Or at least a plan giving me steps towards a solution.

The doctor said that my pain is not being caused by endometriosis, but by adhesions (scar tissue) from my surgeries. He increased my pain meds and gave me a prescription for a pill that will make my period come once every 3 months, so I'll have to deal with the severest pain less often. But no long term plan. He said that if I got pregnant, that the adhesions would soften and disappear (?). I have never heard this before. But he acknowledged that it would be impossible for me to become pregnant naturally, so he recommended IVF. I was really crushed by this. I would love to have my own child, and we pursued the IVF path but abandoned it due to moral objections. He discounted this and tried to say that there was nothing wrong with IVF. Well, that is fine and dandy for him, but I believe it is wrong. Here is what I desperately want (a healthy pain-free life raising kids) being dangled in front of me, and I am barred by my belief in God's Word from taking it. It is another apple. I don't want to be another Eve.

The doctor said that a hysterectomy is not a good option for me because of my age and he said that he wouldn't do it. I don't really want one anyway. I just want to get better. But maybe this is what the Lord wants me to bear here in this life. I sure don't want it.

We have one option that is open to us for acheiving a pregnancy and that is Snowflakes, the embryo adoption agency. But they have very low sucess rates and if we work with them, we can't work with our current adoption agency. I really love them and I don't know if I want to stop our process with them. :( Especially for something that may never work. But the health factor adds a new element to the mix.

So Brian and I are trying to sort all this out. We have much to think about. Pray for us!