First Day of Kindergarten

Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
For He Himself knows our frame;
He is mindful that we are but dust.

As for man, his days are like grass;
As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.

When the wind has passed over it, it is no more,
And its place acknowledges it no longer.

But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting

 to everlasting on those who fear Him,
And His righteousness to children’s children,

To those who keep His covenant
And remember His precepts to do them.

 -Psalm 103:13-18

Well, the day has finally come. Today I send my first-born, the son who ended my barrenness, the gracious gift from God, out into the world. Today is the first day of kindergarten.

In so many ways I've longed for this day. I want him to grow and to be strong and successful. I want him to be independent. But today I am also incredibly aware of time and opportunities wasted, of all the things I didn't teach him when I could have. Particularly, I wish I read the Scriptures to him more often. Dear Lord, forgive me. Do not hold my son accountable for my sins. Please forgive me in Jesus' name and make me more aware of the eternal priorities each and every day.

But God (aren't those some of the best words in the whole wide world?) kindly gave me Psalm 103 this morning. A psalm of forgiveness. A psalm of glory to Him. The kind of psalm I want my life to sing. 

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;

Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;

Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;

Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

Psalm 103:1-5

And these precious words:

But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting

 to everlasting on those who fear Him,
And His righteousness to children’s children

My heart is full of thankfulness for God's Word to me this morning. A good, true, hope-filled, faith-infused, covenant love promise. 

Thank you Lord, for taking care of my children and bridging the gap between what I do and what they need. Be with my sweet little guy on his first day of school and help him look to You if He gets scared (and me too!).  In Jesus' name, amen.

Sudden Terror

A few nights ago, I had a nightmare.

In the dream, I was at a friend's house with my children. Brian had to run an errand, so he left  in the van and had to wait for him to come back. Our friends had recently moved into this house which was comfortable and nice, except for the roof and attic portion. There were many unfinished openings that led to the attic. A horrible faceless monster lived there and It continually let down a noose to snare the foot of any inattentive person. I was astonished that my friends continued to live in this house. In fact, they carried on as if nothing unusual was happening. Worse yet, I found that as I stayed there and visited with them I became distracted and was not watching my son. Numerous times the Evil in the attic nearly snared his foot to draw him into the attic and consume him. Finally I fled the house with the children.

When I woke up, I couldn't shake this dream because I realized that this nightmare was a reality-- we do have an Enemy who roams about, seeking to devour us. I also realized that I am just like my friends in the dream: distracted and forgetful of the very real and present danger. Brian and I prayed for Iain that morning and I've been praying frequently since then for him, that enemy would not ensnare him.

A friend passed this word of comfort along to me:

"Do not be afraid of sudden terror

or of the ruin of the wicked, when it comes,

for the Lord will be your confidence

and will keep your foot from being caught." Proverbs 3:25-26

Thank you Lord, for that promise. Please make it so for my son. Thank you for reminding me of the vigilance of our fearful Enemy. Thank you that you are on our side. Please protect Iain. Give me wisdom and watchfulness to keep him from danger. Help me not forget that this world, normal as it seems, has a lurking Enemy. Thank you that You protect us from him and that he is powerless against You. In Jesus' name, amen.

Life, Interrupted

Its time to come back to the blog. Yes, I'm busy. No, I'm not sure who reads this. But I have a terrible memory and I need to express what God is doing in my life. So I make no pledges of fidelity or regularity in posting, but I am not dead yet and neither is this blog. :)

Tomorrow is Iain's 5th birthday. What a sweet celebration. It's just good to sit and bask in the goodness of the Lord that I have a smart, funny, sweet son who loves trains, tow trucks, ambulances, and VW Bugs. A boy who is as full of contradictions as I am, wriggling and complaining in church, and yet also making up his songs of praise to Jesus. A boy with chocolate eyes and an electric smile. A boy who loves his two sisters with all his heart even though the youngest hasn't even arrived yet. From roughly 80 cells created by strangers, to a freezer, to my womb, to the contemplative little boy that I hug and kiss every day, who tells me he loves me "a million eighty-four, a million eighty-four, a million eighty-four" every night at bedtime.

Thank you Lord Jesus, for remembering my son and watching over him all the days of his life. Thank you for this beautiful gift of love and grace to me. Help me to teach him Your ways. Amen.

Summer Sampler

Here are a few highlights from our crazy-wonderful summer:

Uncle Allan and Aunt Christine visited with cousins Daniel and Fiona. Aren't baby feet the sweetest?

Iain turned 4! We had a party at the park and Mama made a firetruck cake for the big day at home.

We camped at Yellowstone and drove through the Grand Tetons. I got to see my Uncle Greg on that trip!

Iain played T-ball for the first time and LOVED it!

We traveled, swam, went to a baseball game (Elinor's first!), visited with friends, enjoyed fireworks, and...

painted the house!

It was a full summer, rich with blessings.

Autumn Mist

We had a lovely rare fog this morning, so the boys and I decided a little trip to the Greenbelt was in order! It's so fun to see Iain developing friendships.


It was pretty chilly this morning. There was even snow on the foothills.



We saw some geese gliding quietly in the fog. They were beautiful, but the the boys were so excited that they quickly scared the birds away!


Just a hint of fall color in the cottonwood trees this morning.



Iain and his buddy had fun "taking a race" down the Greenbelt. I walked as fast as I could and jogged a bit alongside them-- hopefully I won't feel that later.


Of course when we got home, we had to have some hot "tocolate" with "marshmelons." Yummy! I love autumn, and I'm thrilled that we've settled in a place that has it!

Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe

Today was not a good day. If anybody was giving out "best mom" awards, today would have disqualified me for sure. I was impatient and irritable. I didn't use my time or my words well. I didn't cherish my son. That grieves my heart. I just clicked over to Noah Steven's blog again this evening and it reminded me of how much I have to be thankful for. Noah was born about the same time as Iain, but Noah died last year. I know that we all have less than stellar days as parents, but it is good to be reminded of the precious and fragile gift that our children are. I pray that God would help me steward my great gift tomorrow and all the days thereafter. I'm thankful for the gift of God's grace and forgiveness, which are new every morning.

Another Milestone

Today is the first day of Potty Boot Camp in our house, and at nap time it looks like things have gone pretty well. Iain has gone on the potty successfully 5 times and has only had one accident. I've been plying him with plenty of chocolate milk and we've spent a good deal of the day in the bathroom (he has made 24 trips to the potty so far today). The day has been a "happy day" according to Iain, so that makes me feel good. We've been watching potty videos online, coloring potty pictures, playing games, reading stories, and having special potty day drinks. And going to the potty every 10-15 minutes. I've been stuck to him like a senator on a stimulus bill all day and I'm feeling pretty worn out even though it is only two o'clock.

After his first success "I did it, mommy! I did it!" we called Daddy at work, Nana, and Grandma and ate graham crackers shaped like his beloved cars. He has been wearing new big boy underwear with trains or cars on them all day, and we are only on the third pair. We lost the first pair in the enthusiasm of that first success when tossed his underwear for joy into the air only to have them land in the newly filled potty. Whoops. :) I also gave him a new Curious George book that we read while waiting for It to happen. So it has been a happy, but tiring day. And naptime is over very soon!

2008: Year in Review

Here's a summary of the highlights and lowlights of 2008 for our family. I've included my personal prayer requests at the bottom. If you have any of your own, feel free to leave them in the comments (or e-mail them to me) and I will pray for you too.

January: Job hunting for Brian. We were scouring the internet and praying fervently that God would provide a job for Brian at the right time. This is the month that we found out that Foundations Academy wanted to fly him out for an interview.

February: My 27th birthday. We celebrated with a trip to Paris! Brian flew out to Idaho just before our trip and sent off his signed contract from the post office inside the Louvre. We had the wonderful news that my sister in law was expecting, and then came the blow that she had lost her triplets.

March & April: Exploring the UK with the growing awareness that we weren't there for much longer. We were surprised to find how very at home and comfortable we felt in a place that was once so foreign and scary. I wrote my first issue of Keepers of the Home.

May: Leaving Brighton for the last time. We shipped 6 boxes and had more than our full allowance of luggage, trying to carry back memories of an experience that had shaped and changed us, deeply not wanting those changes to disappear or memories to fade. We had a curry and some wine our last night at home with our two dear friends Anthony and Christina. Christina took us to Gatwick the next morning, faithfully helping us to carry everything through the airport. I remembered all of this incredibly vividly when we dropped her off at the airport here in Boise yesterday.

June: My mom had surgery, my brother graduated high school, Iain turned 2, and we celebrated 7 (!) years of marriage right back where it all began. It was surreal, eating our anniversary dinner at the Denny's where we had our first date. We had such a nice visit with our families after being away for so long.

July: Moving to Boise, Brian's 29th birthday. We took Brian's brother Austin with us as we traveled very slowly north, visiting as many people as possible on our farewell lap of the east. It was especially good to see my Uncle Greg, who I see very rarely, as he is practically my only contact with Dad's family anymore. He reminds me so much of my Dad that I tear up every time I see him. It felt like the filling of a void for him to meet Iain. Our stay with him was like a homecoming to me, a reconnection to part of my past that was once vital and now lost. (My dad passed away in a car accident when I was eight.) We stayed in Nashville after that, visiting Allan and Christine. Brian, Allan, and Austin headed out to Boise in the van while Iain and I stayed in Tennessee for a week. After arriving in Boise, our apartment wasn't ready, so we stayed with the Stutzmans and the Goodwins for two weeks. Finally on the day after Brian's birthday we moved in, but without any furnishings. The mover debacle was a definitely a low point in the year.

August: Our things finally arrived! The folks at Foundations had lent us the basics to survive. After many delays and loads more money, the moving truck finally came, leaving us with mountains of boxes. Brian began teaching at Foundations. I find a job babysitting.

September: We finally settled on a church home, All Saints Presbyterian.

October: Foundations has it's foundation dedication art project at the new building site. Iain becomes a big boy and says "Bye bye binky!"

November: Adam came for Thanksgiving.

December: Christina's visit, which I have yet to blog about, due to being busy visiting!

Prayer Requests for the New Year:
That God would allow our family to grow with the addition of more children. This is the greatest of my heart's desires, but I don't know if it is really what is best, or what the Lord has for us. But he is kind to listen to our petitions, and gracious even when he says "No."

That I would grow in my faith. I want to live like a believer, every day, in every circumstance and attitude. I find that with every unexpected expenditure, every thwarted desire, every circumstance that doesn't go I as had hoped or planned, like I react like a two-year-old child, with complaints, with frustrated tears, with a lack of belief that my Father knows best what I need.

That I would recognize and embrace my calling in life, nurturing and stewarding the talents and resources that God has given me, being full of contentment with this season of my life, and working diligently at the tasks he sets me to, glamorous or not.

Happy New Year to everyone. Praise God that we are one year closer to glory, and knowing that the fullness of time and salvation has not yet come, let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us!

Pizza Parlor Fun

Earlier this week I had the blessing of going on a little "mommy date" with Iain. We went to Flying Pie Pizzeria with the Idaho Mom's Network for a tour and we got to make our own pizza! Flying Pie is considered to be the best pizza place in Boise, and I must say that I agree. Here we are waiting to get started.


They had all kinds of fun hats for the kids to wear while they constructed their pizzas. Iain choose the crown, but it was so big that it looked like a royal rasta hat! He didn't leave it on for too long.


After washing our hands, we got to spread sauce and sprinkle cheese on our pizza dough.


And of course, there was some quality-control testing to be done.


Next came the meat and the olives. Yum, yum! It was very hard for Iain to be patient and not eat his pizza uncooked. I'm actually not sure if he is adding ingredients or taking them off in this picture!


Next we named our pizzas and gave them to the staff to be cooked in the oven. We called ours "Iain's Sampler". Then they gave us drinks and breadsticks and showed us the massive dough mixer. I couldn't believe the size of it. It makes enough dough for almost 200 pizzas, and they make the dough fresh every morning.


Next we saw our pizzas cooking in the oven. Then we got to eat them!


Iain and I both really enjoyed our morning at Flying Pie. If you are ever in Boise, you have to check them out!

First American Halloween

We took Iain to a trunk-or-treat party on Wednesday night, and being the frugal mama that I am, I decided to make Iain's halloween costume. He is a train-- and a very sad one-- if you can't tell from the pictures.

He actually refused to wear this costume on Wednesday, so we transitioned to a backup. Iain the builder!

Here he is wearing a fireman's hat that they gave him that night. Costume # 3! It was at about this point, while admiring the candy haul, that Iain decided dressing up was ok.

So on Friday he wore his costume without too much complaint.



This was our first time taking Iain trick or treating, and it was such a blessing. I wanted to have a child for so long-- it is such a joy to get to do kid stuff with our son. He did very well saying thank you to everyone. We had dinner with our friend Melody and then walked around the block trick or treating. We all had a really nice time.

Bye-bye, Binky!

Last night was a tremendous milestone for Iain. It was his first night without his beloved pacifier. We prepared him through the late afternoon and evening, and then when it was time for bed, Papa sat him down for a serious heart-to-heart talk. Brian told Iain that he was too big for his binky, and that he wasn't going to need it anymore. Instead Iain would get a special big boy prize. I gave Iain his binky and had him trade it to me for a brand new wooden train. He was very excited about the train, but when he handed over his binky he said "Bye-bye binky" and cried. The look on his face nearly broke my heart. I've been dreading doing this. I was so sad. I think it was as hard for me to see the binky go as it was for him. But happily it only lasted for about 5 seconds and then he was all smiles for the new big boy train!

He played with it for a while and took it to bed with him. Iain slept from 9:30 or so and slept until 6:00, so he did really well. Today he been saying "Bye-bye binky" in a very conversational way, so I think this transition is going to go pretty well. The only mark of babyhood he has left are his diapers. I don't think he is quite ready for potty training yet, but it will be very nice when we don't have to buy diapers any more.

My boy is getting so big! Praise the Lord.

Eastbourne Minature Steam Railway

We recently visited the Eastbourne Mini Steam Railway and we had a great relaxed family day. It was a rare sunny afternoon and we rode the trains, played on the playground, and watched model trains. Iain thought it was amazing, but he took it very seriously. We didn't know that he even liked riding on the train until we got off and he started crying because he wanted to ride again!



Here's a shot of the boys riding the train around the park-- you can see what I mean about the seriousness. It was a really big track all around a lake, over a bridge, under a tunnel and past multiple playgrounds. It was great!



Mama enjoyed the pretty spring flowers!



They also had a couple of Thomas the Tank Engine train tables set up, which kept Iain enthralled. I'm hoping that Brian can build him something like this-- it was pretty simple really, and these tables cost a lot!



Enjoying some of the model trains set up in the park.



Iain thought this slide was a little scary-- it was much faster than the one on campus.

What a great day.

More about Iain

This may not be terribly interesting to the general public, but from time to time I like to record developmental milestones here on the blog, so that I can look back at these posts when my baby is a grown man and remember what he was like when he was small. He is 21 months now, and is talking a bit.

Current Words:
dada
mama
yeah
up
woooow = wow (he says this so enthusiastically-- it's adorable)
dah = down
duh = dog
ree = read
mo' meese = more, please
truh = truck
ah pin = airplane
augh = Uncle Austin
mmf = woof
mmm = moo
ish = fish
shhh = hush

He also likes to "count" things now. He'll point his finger at random objects and say "wee, wee, wee, wee."

There are other words he used to say that we don't hear anymore like Papa, that, go, amen. Who can say why?

Favorite Toys:
Trucks! I have a little box that I keep his Hot Wheels trucks in, and nearly every morning that is the first thing he pulls out. He gets so excited and when he opens it up and sees all the vehicles inside, he beams with delight. So precious.

His ball. He loves to kick or throw balls around. Our friend Christina came over last week and she and Brian kicked the ball back and forth in our living room, and Iain was giggling and grinning the whole time.

Books. He loves to bring us books to read. His favorites are Happy Dog, Sad Dog; The Very Hungry Caterpiller; Goodnight Moon; Dear Zoo; and Wobble Bear Says Yellow. Brian and I are so pleased that he likes to read.

Favorite Films:
It's gotta be Pixar's Cars, hands down. Not that Iain has seen a lot of films, but he gets so excited about that one. He also likes The Snowman, which will always carry special memories of life in England for Brian and me. Lately we've been watching a lot of Idaho Outdoors videos from Pete Zimowsky, who is a reporter for the Idaho Statesman. Iain especially likes it when Zimo brings his dog along for the adventure!

As far as music goes, Iain like action songs like The Itsy Bitsy Spider; Wind Your Bobbin Up; or Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.

Iain can run now and hardly ever falls while walking anymore, unless he is tired. He can climb up the slide and slide down all by himself at the playground. He is trying to learn to jump, but hasn't quite got that yet, as you can see from this highly entertaining video. :)

My beautiful boy

How I love my son! I pray that God will give me wisdom as I try to raise him. I'm so imperfect, and this world is so imperfect, and his own little nature is imperfect-- there are so many things that could go wrong. So many things that I can't protect him from. He will know sickness, rejection, pain, and death in this life. These things are common to man, and no one can protect us from them. But how will Iain react when things don't go according to his plan? When there are no easy answers, and when life seems insurmountable? It's my job as a mother to equip him to handle these things, and that's scary.

He's getting older now, so much more a boy than a baby. Time for growing interaction, independence, and serious parenting. My love grows with him, and loving a child has opened me up to a new level of vunerability. No matter where he goes, or what he does, part of my heart will be there with him. I hope that he always knows how much I love him.

Dear Jesus, Please protect my son. Nurture him with your everlasting, redeeming love. Help him not to worship himself or money or status or anything but you. Be his reality, dear Lord. Help me to show him your ways and wisdom. I want the best for my son. Help me to remember that you love him more than I do. Help me to teach him the right things and to make good choices for him while he is small. Help me not to be lazy, but intentional and diligent in my care for him. I give my son to you, Lord. He is yours. You only gave him to me for safekeeping. Help me to utilize my talents and steward him well. Bless him and touch his heart. Help him to call on you from the earliest of days. In your name I pray, amen.